Headmaster Snape and the Hogwarts Daycare
by Werewolf of Suburbia
Summary: Kidfic. When the entire staff save Severus, Binns and Firenze are de aged to 3 a day before Hogwarts opens, along with the Hextet and Draco, Severus has to run Hogwarts and a new daycare all at once. Can he do so without killing somebody?
1. Prologue: What Happened?

Disclaimer: Is Snogging Fred Weasley Oh, hi? What am I doing? Oh yes, the claimer. Don't own it, wish otherwise. End of discussion. resumes previous activities

* * *

Severus Snape had a problem. A very big problem. Although, it you could consider it a very small problem…

"Albus is poking Minerva." Firenze stated calmly, like this was nothing new. Technically, it wouldn't be save for a few things. Like 1) the Albus and Minerva in question were Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall and 2) They were supposed to be over a 100 and at least 60-70 years old, respectively.

This was Snape's problem. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry opened tomorrow evening, and outside of he and the centaur, every member of the staff seemed to have been miniaturized—specifically, de-aged to about 3 years old. They couldn't teach in their conditions!!!

To make matters worse, several students had come to school early, and had also been caught in the cross-fire, so to speak. Two of them were supposed to take their very important OWL exams this year—and they couldn't even attend class in their present condition—not that there would be any teacher to teach them anyway.

Quickly dragging the 3 year old Headmaster away from his deputy, Severus looked pleadingly at his only fellow adult—who seemed quite amused at the wide-eyed stares coming from the de-aged students and teachers who had been muggle-raised. After all, no muggle would ever have seen a centaur.

"Firenze, what do we do?"

"I haven't the slightest. Perhaps you should be temporary Headmaster."

Severus groaned.

"Just what I don't need. I have no choice. Given who's on the school board, I highly doubt they'd let a centaur lead the school, especially if they have another option. I suppose this also means that you are taking over the entirety of Divination."

The centaur nodded. He knew this. Sybil Trelawney would've have co-taught with him, but that was no longer an option, as Sybil was presently trying to ascertain the fate of an annoyed looking Ginny Weasley. To look at the half-horse half-human, you would see that he was planning on laughing himself silly once in his private quarters—or as close as centaurs got.

"Firenze, can you help me out? I'll send you Fawkes, and could you write a general letter to be delivered to parents and family members—I will not be watching all of these toddlers."

"Very well." And Firenze left, clopping against the stone, much to amazement of the watching tots. Severus quickly called the Headmaster's familiar, Fawkes the Phoenix, and told him to take the letter he would be receiving from Firenze to several people. He was to visit the Grangers last, and transport them to Hogwarts—they were muggles with no mean of picking up their de-aged child otherwise.

After the firebird had gone, Severus looked around at his students and fellow co-workers in something like dismay. He had good reason for this, because a large group of 3 year olds would stir such feelings in anybody.

3 year old Harry Potter had hidden under the teacher's table in terror, and Remus Lupin, who was to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts with Alastor Moody, was trying, with help from Poppy Phomprey, the (former) medi-witch, to get him to come out. Moody, himself, seemed more intent on chasing a half-terrified, half-amused Draco Malfoy around the hall.

Neville Longbottom and Hermione Granger had taken to hiding over near Gryffindor table, where the girl could be seen talking to Neville, who looked rather blank and just kept nodding shyly. Luna Lovegood didn't seem to mind the chaos much, as she had just sat down at Hufflepuff table and was doing Merlin knows what with the nearby dinnerware.

Minerva and Albus had gotten together again, and were rough-housing, including Ron Weasley and Rolanda Hooch, the (also former) flying instructor, in the process. Herbology professor and Charms Master Pomona Sprout and Filius Flitwick, respectively, had found amusement in mock battling with silverware—thankfully, both were using spoons.

With a sigh, Severus headed towards the fireplace, hoping that Dumbledore hadn't fully disconnected the Great Hall fireplace from the floo network—he had a lot of work to do.

* * *

Severus was amazed that he had been granted such a miracle. All the parents had come the instant they had gotten the letter, and he now had a full staff for the students tomorrow. Granted, a lot of them were the guardians of the newly-de-aged staff, but still. He couldn't believe his luck. He only had to call in a couple of favors to complete the picture.

The kids had been relatively easy to handle. Most of them had gone home with a guardian, leaving only a couple left. Harry's relatives had not come, and when Severus had gone to investigate, he realized that Albus had been wrong to place the boy there to start with. Remus had no one to look out for him, especially with Sirius Black having gone through the veil last year, and neither did Moody. They had been told that their parents had to go on an extended trip, and couldn't take them.

Now he was sitting in Dumbledore's office, stroking Fawkes—who hadn't minded being made a taxi service, which he had been because the Grangers offered to teach Muggle Studies—wondering what to tell the school board. The Potions Master knew they'd have to be informed of SOMETHING. Just, what?

Meanwhile, Severus had actually opened a daycare for the new tots, especially since a lot of their guardians were now temporary teachers. Harry, Remus, Rebeus Hagrid, a half-giant who taught Care of Magical Creatures, Moody, and his own daughter—adopted though she was—Amber, were all permanent residents. The teachers would help run it, and he'd called in another favor for a permanent runner.

Now, it was just a matter of explaining to the school board, and the students, as to what was going on. He just hoped that Voldemort wouldn't come calling for a long while. Although, he hoped that Draco's father, Lucius, being Voldemort's right hand man, would explain the situation to the Dark Lord.

With a small groan at the difficulties this little problem created, Severus decided to get some sleep. After all, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

* * *

On September 1st, students did not notice anything amiss as they boarded the Hogwarts Express at 11 o'clock. As they discussed normal things, like their summers and the difficulty of Snape's Potions essay, they took no notice of the odd absence of certain people. However, it would be a whole different story upon their arrival at the school.

For one, the familiar voice of Hagrid calling over the first years had been replaced by a female. A witch with hazel eyes and—interestingly enough—pink hair was found to be calling the first years, and leading them to the boats. The only ones not to question this were the first years themselves—they had no knowledge of what was normal at Hogwarts quite yet.

Students in the upper years found themselves staring in shock when they reached the Hall. The sight that met their eyes was defiantly not normal. For one, Severus Snape was NOT supposed to be sitting in the Headmaster's golden chair, and his wasn't supposed to be sitting next to Molly Weasley either. Well, technically, he was sitting next to a 3 year old girl, who was sitting next to another 3 year old girl, who was sitting next to Molly.

Things got more confusing when a tall wizard of African descent—given his dark skin—led the first years in. Only a couple of people recognized him as Kingsley Shacklebolt. To make matters worse, in-between the various staff members—of which only Snape and Firenze were recognizable—were more three year olds.

Soon enough, the Sorting had been completed and Snape did his new Headmaster duties by starting the feast. There were no announcements—students figured there were enough that they'd been saved for later—and no little funny words like Dumbledore always did. Just a single clap and nothing more. Students began to question each other on what was going on and coming up with wild theories. This was also when they noticed missing students.

It took a Hufflepuff to start the proper theory. Rose Zeller had looked up at the table to try and get a good look at the toddlers, and noticed something. The girl sitting next to Snape, who was also helping the child use her fork on her mashed potatoes at present, had several very strange additions. These additions included wolf ears and tail and, most notably, two feathered wings. Rose had been at Hogwarts long enough to recognize the particular sight of one Stardancer Lycan—Snape's adopted daughter.

Rose, despite being in Hufflepuff, was not stupid. No Hufflepuff was, regardless of what the Slytherins said. Rose was very aware that Stardancer Lycan—her real name was Amber—was supposed to be 16 years old now. But there was no mistaking that figure, even at age 3. So what had happened?

The students shut up in record time when Snape stood to make announcements. Starting with the usual, no magic in the corridors, banned items, and the Forest, he finally started in on what the whole student body wanted to know.

"Now, technically, this year you would've been introduced to Remus Lupin and Alastor Moody as Defense Against the Dark Arts professors. This year, however was rewritten as of lunchtime yesterday. For reasons yet to be identified, every staff member save myself and Professor Firenze were turned into 3 year olds. With them were the students who had come to school early—Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron and Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood, plus my own daughter. Thusly, until such a time as they return, or an antidote can be found, your normal teachers and fellow classmates are out of commission."

With a sigh, Snape continued. "Introducing you to all your new teachers would take all night, so I will allow them to introduce themselves in their classes over the week. Several of them are staying on, but are also looking after their de-aged family, so you will be seeing a lot of toddlers running around. I have opened a daycare so they don't get in the way of classes too much—if at all—but please watch your step. They will return to normal sooner or later, but right now, we need to treat them like the 3 year olds they have become. All staff members, as well as prefects and the Head Boy and Girl have express permission to severely punish you if you mistreat the child, or are caught doing or saying things that should be kept away from little eyes and ears. Are we clear on this?"

Nods. "Great. In case your wondering, there are several children up here that don't have a teacher parent. This is because their families are no longer around, but as far as everyone here is concerned when in hearing distance; their families went on extended trips and were incapable of taking them. With that said, you are dismissed."

* * *

Severus groaned as he collapsed in his bed in the dungeons. While his new office was rather quite the walk from his usual one, he was not about to use Albus' bed. He had forgotten what Amber was like as a toddler, but he had just been reminded. Especially since the girl's memories seemed to have been altered to that of her younger self just after her parents' murder. Amber was going to have nightmares for the rest of the week, unless she aged more.

He was going to miss his Potions classes, as well. But it wouldn't be fair to have the Headmaster teaching you—or being your Head of House. Both positions now belonged to Horace Slughorn, who had been his own teacher and Head of House when Severus had been at school. He had been difficult enough to find, but it took everything Snape had to convince him to come out of hiding and take his old position while Severus was playing Headmaster.

After setting his alarm, despite the fact that Amber would provide alarm enough throughout the night, Severus sighed and wondered if the cause of this would ware off quick. Caring for Amber after her parents had gone had been nightmare enough the first time around, and he wasn't acting as Headmaster at the same time then. Now, not only was he repeating Amber's childhood, but he was running the school too.

"This is going to be one nightmare of a year." Severus muttered to himself as he drifted off.

Two hours later, Amber wailed.

* * *

There. Now, in case your wondering, I've gone and gotten myself addicted to kid fics, and time travel fics. I may or may not write my version of the latter, but this is my try at the former. However, I've given it a twist I have yet to really see. All the Hogwarts staff save Snape and Firenze (and Binns, although he doesn't count) being turned into children—a day before the school is set to open! As an added bonus, I made the hextet and Malfoy show up—reasons will come sooner or later, once I think of them and figure them into the plot—at school early and become affected too!! As for Snape's daughter—bad habit I can't seem to break, and I apologize. I've also decided to keep this as true to cannon as possible, which is why I brought in Slughorn, but the major events of HBP—like the end—will be completely ignored. But I have stayed true to OOtP, as you will notice. Sorry, although, I might be tempted to being poor Sirius back—I love Sirius!! Maybe not as much as Remus, but still…

Review please, and tell me how bad you want Sirius back, and if he should be de-aged too.

Werewolf of Suburbia


	2. Day One: Meet the Teachers

It was very interesting to say the least, when the 6th years taking Muggle Studies filed in for class on Monday morning. The sight that met them inside the classroom was of two adults, both cooing over one of the de-aged toddlers who, by appearances, seemed to be their relative, perhaps their daughter.

As the bell to signal the start of class rung, the couple settled their charge in a specially set-aside corner of the room and turned to face the class. With bright smiles, they started class with an introduction, namely of them.

The man spoke, while the woman sat at the teacher's desk, arranging notes and papers.

"Hello and welcome to what everyone, us included, will probably call the most interesting class ever taught. I know some of you"—a glance at Blaise Zambini and Daphne Greengrass, the only Slytherins taking the class—"will not like the fact that I am about to tell you, but we and Headmaster Snape thought it would be a interesting idea, if not a good one, for us to take over while the regular teacher is occupied."

This got everyone's attention right off, and the students sat straighter in their seats, looking at their teachers eagerly.

"We are the Professors Granger, although to avoid confusion, you may call me Professor Jake and my wife is Professor Heather. If you haven't figured it out already, while we are teaching here, we will also be re-raising our daughter, the one and only Hermione Granger."

Gasps went around at that. Everyone knew Hermione Granger, and also knew that she was muggleborn. If these were her parents that meant…

"Yes, we are muggles, or at least live like them normally. This was the basis for our signing up to teach this class. As muggles, we certainly understand the muggle world far better then any wizard or witch, and thanks to Hermione, we have an understanding on the wizard world. Therefore, we would be able to better connect what you will be learning here with things you already know. We know, for instance, about the Wizarding wireless. But did you know muggles have a very similar device called a radio? We'll be teaching about the radio later on, but that was just an illustration."

Murmurs went out, as everyone realized the benefits of having muggles teach muggle studies. Better yet, these particular muggles also knew plenty of the wizarding world thanks to their witch daughter. It was a fantastic idea in the eyes of many.

True to form, however, the two Slytherins did not see the good qualities of this idea. They were frowning at one another, trying to fit their minds around the fact that two of their temporary professors were actually muggles. Inwardly, however, both were grinning like mad. Daphne and Blaise were, like many more among their House, followers not of Draco Malfoy, but of Stardancer Lycan.

And Stardancer did not hold any sort of prejudices, especially against muggles and muggleborns.

3 year old Hermione watched the older kids her parents were teaching with an adorable curious look to her features. Her playpen, as it were, had been specially warded by Snape so that, once behind the line, she couldn't escape or disrupt class, either intentionally or unintentionally. Most of the Ravenclaws had taken this class, with Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs intermingled within them. All of them found Hermione, a children's book in one hand, the cutest thing they had ever seen.

"To start class, we will be talking about the most simplistic of muggle items, and I want you to experience using them yourself. These items are, of course, pen and paper, which, for you purebloods and half-bloods, are very similar to quill and parchment, but, in my opinion, extremely easier to use…"

* * *

At lunch the first day back, everyone talked non-stop about the children, who had been in their guardian's classes. Molly Weasley, the substitute medi-witch, had been quite occupied when not healing students with her brood, which included Harry, and her two youngest.

Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood and several members of staff had not been present, and that was because their parents/guardians had not taken teaching positions, and had simply taken their de-aged children home with them. Stardancer had apparently been given to Firenze to watch, as she had been present in Divination class, changing into a wolf cub and enjoying the feel of the fake forest Dumbledore had given the centaur for a classroom.

It had taken everything the students had to keep going with their assignments when Firenze had revealed the charmed night sky and Stardancer had decided to howl at the moon, nearly three-quarters full. Firenze had simply swished his tail over the winged wolf cub, ordering her in his soft tones to quiet.

Stardancer had kept howling for only a few seconds more before falling silent as ordered, looking at the half-human, half-horse with wide golden eyes. There was a decidedly rushed feeling as the students attempted to look like they hadn't been watching the show and failed miserably.

Severus Snape had not been having quite that good a time. Lucius had fire-called to tell him that he had indeed waylaid the Dark Lord, knowing that Severus didn't want an all-out attack on Hogwarts while both Dumbledore and Harry were indisposed. He knew about the problem, of course, but he had been convinced that it would be better overall if Voldemort triumphed over a Harry Potter who could at least match up against him, instead of a defenseless toddler who probably couldn't even pronounce his name.

Plus, there was Stardancer to consider, considering that, for that she was essentially muggleborn, Severus loved her like he would his own flesh and blood, and would not take kindly to the Dark Lord's killing her, either directly or indirectly. Voldemort had to concede to these points and assured Lucius, who in turn assured Severus, that Hogwarts would be safe from him and his followers until this...whatever it was…wore off or was fixed.

Not to mention that, although the general public knew nothing of what was happening, they continued to send mail to the Headmaster. Severus had no idea how Albus could put up with all the bloody owls, and Merlin help them if he received one more howler. He just about cursed the last owl to deliver Albus' mail to his office.

Fawkes tried to help, singing soothing songs, but the Sorting Hat had not helped, sitting on it's self, sniggering like mad. Severus had eventually given in to temptation and glared at the article, gripping his wand and ready to threaten the Hat if need be.

"My dear Severus, there is no need to get all angry like that." the Hat spoke between snickers. "After all, this is quite amusing if you really look at it. I also wondered how you would handle the Headmaster position if you were given it."

"Yeah well, I would handle it much better if you could be more helpful then just sitting there laughing at me going deaf!!" yelled Snape.

"Yes, well, I can see it is harder on you then it would've been if you had actually earned the title, seeing as they are still writing to Albus, and you probably would have earned the title AFTER young Amber had graduated." mused the Hat thoughtfully.

Severus was never more solely tempted right then to flambé something or somebody. This was going to sap him of what little sanity he had left, especially if it did not ware off soon.

So far, it looked like they would have to wait for the de-aging to ware off, as both he and Slughorn had brewed every antidote to de-aging as was known to the wizarding world. They had fed the tots all of them, testing different potions on different tots, but to no effect. So far, the children had aged further, but only by a couple of weeks, and it seemed to be slow going. For all anybody knew, they were stuck re-raising the children until they grew up again.

Admittedly, Slughorn, Snape and several other teachers and students who had at least an E in Potions or on their Potions NEWTS were helping to try and create an antidote. For all that several guardians thought it was slightly fun to raise their charges from early childhood on, they really didn't want it to be as permanent as having them re-experience EVERTHING from age 3 and up.

With a silent snarl at the rather unhelpful Hat, Severus turned back to the Headmaster's mail, and continued to go through it.

* * *

That night at dinner, teachers reported to Severus about having their charges in their classrooms. Most of the reports were good. Some of them had particularly energetic children, but the wards kept them in their designated areas. The biggest problem they had faced was the students themselves, most allowing themselves to be distracted by the tots. All in all, though, it wasn't difficult to get them to pay attention when the lesson really started.

Especially if they promised they'd be allowed to play with the children once they had completed the work.

"Stardancer was fine." Firenze assured his temporary boss as he handed her over to Severus at dinner that night. "She spent the entire time in wolf form, and I only had to shush her once when she felt the need to howl at the moon. She listened quite well."

Severus gently fed Stardancer her dinner and asked about her day. The three year old werewolf was quite happy to tell her "father"—or rather, "Uncle Severus" since her memories did not involve living with Severus for more then a few weeks at best—all about the forest and the nice horse-man.

"When we see OO-orns? I want see OO-orns." She asked between bites of mashed potatoes with gravy.

"Unicorn." Severus corrected gently. "And we'll go see them this weekend of you continue to behave. And if you are really good, then we will go visit the thestrals as well. But **ONLY** if you are good, understand?"

Stardancer nodded fervently. Stardancer loved seeing the unicorns in the Forbidden forest, and the herd loved her to death, despite that she was human, and a werewolf at that. The thestral herd that pulled the school carriages was much the same. Briefly, Severus wondered how they would take the de-aged girl. Both magical equine species were very, very intelligent.

When dinner finally finished, Severus let Stardancer go with Aberforth Dumbledore and Molly Weasley, who intended to let the children ware themselves out together. Abe, as he preferred, was watching over both his de-aged brother and Minerva. As far as Severus knew, it was an interesting time, with the wizard and witch fighting half the time and quietly sharing the other half.

He quickly retreated to his peaceful and comforting dungeon quarters, and decided to read a Potions book he had been meaning to get to for sometime and probably won't have much time to read while looking after both Stardancer and the school.

He managed to get quite a bit of reading done, breaking out some of his finest gin somewhere along the way, before a knock on his "door"—his was a portrait-guarded entrance—disturbed him from his nighttime activities.

"Who is it?" he asked, opening the door at the same time. It turned out to be Abe, carrying an adorable looking Stardancer who was out cold, her wings folded gently, tail curled around her torso and mouth slightly open to reveal tiny fangs. The Dumbledore handled over his precious bundle to her guardian with a gentle smile.

"She wore herself out playing tag with Minnie the kitten and Albus. Although it took some convincing on even my part before she did, though. She seemed more inclined to play pretend with the stuffed animals I conjured for the other two."

"She was always like that at this age. I enrolled her at wizarding primary alongside Draco and it wasn't until she was about 10 that she started choosing to play with the other kids without being convinced. She preferred reading aloud to her Starbeam and Lycant, or dancing around the room to her radio with Isabella. All of whom, by the way, were stuffed animals."

"Yes, well, I can see why, to a point. Neither Albus nor Minnie were happy about her getting away from being "it" more then once because she flew out of reach." Abe chuckled. The older wizard gently patted the girl on the head. Stardancer didn't move.

"I really must be getting back. I left Molly to look after Al and Minnie while I delivered your daughter to you, and she was having quite the time trying to get Al to go to sleep. Both he and Ron are stubborn little ones. This is probably what got them into Gryffindor more then anything else." A grin invited Severus to share the joke, and, despite himself, Severus did.

"I'll bet. Well, thanks for returning my little one to me, and I'll not keep you from yours any longer." That said, he bid goodnight to Aberforth and gently carried Stardancer to her room, tucking her under the covers with her Starbeam—a stuffed unicorn—next to her. Her bedside was lined with the few other plushes she owned—a cat, a wolf, and a thestral amongst them—who, as wizarding plush toys do, gently curled around his daughter's sleeping form, ready to protect her from the monsters hiding under her bed.

Gently lowering the lights and allowing Stardancer's enchanted ceiling to show the night sky outside, Severus headed for his own bed. His final thoughts before he drifted off to sleep were of what tomorrow would bring, and if the de-aged children and teachers would be any older.

Merlin he hoped so.

* * *

Okay, just a quick FYI--I will be referring back and forth between Amber's real name, Amber, and her chosen name, Stardancer. They are the exact same person, so don't go trying to figure out what happened to Amber or who Stardancer is, kay?

Werewolf of Suburbia


End file.
